I have heard from some of you (thank you for the feedback) and it often included the words, “I was crying”, which was not my goal. So, sorry about that, apparently it is what I do. I would like to say that it is infrequent that people cry around me, but unfortunately it happens more often than not. It is not like I am mean or anything, it is just that I guess I make people feel safe enough with me that they share.
An example of this is that I had lunch with a friend today and we were discussing our children and mid-way through the meal she shared what I would deem to be some fairly deep emotions and she started to tear up.
I laughed and then told her it happens a lot. Once at a dinner my mother was hosting, a bunch of us were sitting around the table and the neighbor said something about his family, and I made an observation and he ended up crying at the table, and telling me thank you, as he never thought of “it” that way. Oye, no more invites for me I guess.
Apparently I am a really good person to share a cry with. Ironically that same thing is so very difficult for me to do with others. I do my best crying alone sitting on the floor in my shower where no one can hear me.
So with that being said, if so many of the people in my life can share their truth’s with me I only think it is fair that I belly up to the bar and have the authentic me, the beauty, ugly, boldness, fear, uncertain and insecure me show up.
As I type this I am still convinced someone is going to call me and say, “You know, I don’t think its right what you are doing, you shouldn’t air your dirty laundry to the public.” It will make me consider stopping writing this, I know it will, but hopefully it will be yet another time in my life where I chose not to listen to someones advice.
I truly believe the most special part of me is my heart and how I choose to share with people. I have decided to lay it all out there for everyone to see, feel, and touch, putting aside all fear and consequence of what I will be met with in return.
And the person who encouraged me to be fearless, was actually my moronic 16 year old son. He confidently told me to share my story, which is part of his story. He said I could help a lot of people, “Mom, people like you. I think my friends may like you more than they like me.” It is not true, about the friend part anyway, but I gotta love the kid for trying.
The big word in the journey we have taken is VULNERABLE–capable of being physically or emotionally wounded and Open to attack or damage. If you want to learn about vulnerability from the master, check out the woman I refer to as “My girl, Brene”. I had never heard of Brene Brown prior to what I am now officially dubbing “The Journey”. If you are going to look her up I suggest the first thing to look at is her Ted Talk on the Power of Vulnerability, which basically put her on the map. Brene taught me the value of being vulnerable, and I have to say for me it was the difference between success and failure.
My goal in doing this is to help at least one person, kid, or family understand that they are not alone. So if you connect with any of the situations I write about, either past and/or present, or you want to share I would love to hear from you.
Warning: I have ADHD, which in our family is affectionately know as “The add”, shocking right? Because of “The Add” I tend to bounce from subject to subject. I may write a few posts about the past and then the next post in the present. I write what I am thinking that day, and sometimes it may not make sense, but hey it is who I am. I acknowledge my grammar and spelling stink, and I write like I am speaking, which isn’t always proper English-and sometimes my shit just may not make sense. Just go with it, no need to comment on it.
Have an awesome day and know that someone out there cares.