Parent Support

Why does my teen have no sense of time???

The definition of “on-time” and “late” has not changed the last time I checked. I understand that on-time for me means 10 minutes early, and I will acknowledge that the true definition of “on-time” means; at or before the appointed time and “late” is anything after the appointed time. Fairly simple concept I would think.

In order for me to ensure I am “on-time” especially going to a new location, it requires some planning or anticipating on my part.  I ask myself a few simple questions;

  • Where do I have to be? 
  • What time am I supposed to be there?
  • How far is the drive?
  • Do I have to park the car and walk?  How far would that walk be?
  • What time of day am I traveling?  Will there be traffic?
  • What is the weather like? Will is slow me down?

At my age these questions are rote, and it takes me all of a minute to cycle through them to determine the time I will leave one location to get to another location.  I often add about 10 minutes of wiggle time in case something pops up, but hey that is just me.

So why is a bug up my ass today about being on time; because it is a concept that seemed to completely vanish from my child’s vocabulary and brain.  Yesterday was a two hour delay in the schools due to the weather.  That means it gave my child two entire extra hours to get himself together to get to school on time, seriously how could one be late with that window, right?  Yeah that is what I thought.

Well, not setting the alarm clock and oversleeping is probably the first step.  My child rolls out of bed at 9:08am for a start time of 9:30am.  He missed his ride so now I have to drive him to school, which is about 17 minutes away on a regular day, and now there was snow on the ground.  I tell my son I will be in the car waiting, I do this to provide a sense of urgency to him, and more importantly so I do not continue to have my blood pressure rise as he moves around the house like a sloth, a sloth in slow motion mind you.

9:50am, at 9:50am, it is 39 minutes later that my child ambles to the car and climbs in.  He had that cowboy slow motion saunter down pat.  He sits down and mumbles, “Sorry” as I am throwing  the car in to  reverse and pulling out of the garage before his door is even closed.   We drive in silence, which is a good thing because I am seething.  I am seething not because he is late for school AGAIN, that is on him and he will have to deal with the consequences of that in school. 

I am irritated to say the least because he showed no sense of urgency to get himself together to get out of the house quickly, never considering that it is an inconvenience to me to have to wait for him and drive him.

What is rattling around in their brains that causes them to get derailed for 39 minutes in their bedroom when the only task they have to complete was to get dressed.

Seriously, 39 minutes to put on sweatpants, sweatshirt, socks, sneakers, and brush his teeth.  In 39 minutes I could have taken a shower, dressed, cooked dinner and thrown in a load of laundry and had time to spare.  I wish I could see what he was thinking like on the cartoons that have the little bubble above their heads.  So frustrating!!!! 

So I reached out to some of my friends for solace, they had none, and could only offer their own stories about their sons.  It appears that time stands still for a large majority of the male adolescent population. 

Some boys think they can walk home at 10:56pm and get in the door for their 11pm curfew when their friends live a mile away.  They show up late, and you ask them when they left to get home, and in all seriousness they think 4 minutes was enough time.  There must be a magic teenager world where time stands still for a select lucky few.  

My kid is always the last to saunter out the door, into the car, or wherever he needs to be.  I get exhausted watching him move so slowly, as I think it must take a ton of energy to function in slow-motion.  Though when he is late for something he wants, like hanging out with friends, going snowboarding or whatever, he turns into an adult all of a sudden stressing the importance of not being late.  I give up, I truly do.

P.S.  I got so wrapped up in writing that I was 15 minutes late meeting my friend Erica for coffee this morning.  I had to do the shame walk and explain that I was late because I was writing a piece about being late.

Share the funny stories of your kids “slothiness”, I really need to know it just isn’t in my house.

4 thoughts on “Why does my teen have no sense of time???”

  1. Laughed all the way through this! I’m sorry but we ALL experience the inconsiderate, chronically tardy, unsympathetic (for making me wait 30 minutes for you) CHILD. I can only share with you that I now have 3 ADULT children (and I mean over the ages of 30) who finally understand the import concept of TIME! Hang in there Cheryl! Thanks for sharing your truth. It normalizes things for others

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jess was horrible in the morning. I’d physically pull her out of bed onto the floor only to return 5 minutes later to discover her back in bed. She was perpetually late for school and managed to accrue several detentions because of it.

    Liked by 1 person

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